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Did you ever go to school with someone who grew up to be famous? I did. Two people in fact – Warren and Wesley Harding. Mate, if you haven’t heard of them by now you’ve been living under a rock. The Gay Incest Twins taking the world by storm right now – on every magazine and current affairs show.
So mad. Used to play five-a-side football with them all the time. Never understood why they never had girlfriends, could have taken their pick of the foxes and babes. Now we know. The sexy fuckers have been porking each other all along.
If you told me they’d be famous, I’d have believed you no trouble. Both identically handsome and funny and talented. But I would have never guessed they were gay for each other. They both seemed so normal and regular like. I mean, imagine it – two brothers, twins, sucking on each other’s dicks, tasting the drips of precum and loving it.
They don’t give a fuck, bruv! They’re shouting it from the rooftops. TikTok, Twitter. Wesley’s even starting a fucking podcast – all about gay incest pride. What he’s calling the big civil rights issue of our time. Insane, right?
I saw the whole thing kick off – been there from day one. Out of nowhere one night I seen a big status update on Facebook,
Wesley Harding is in a relationship with Warren Harding.
I laughed out loud when I saw it. Everyone did. Just thought it was joke, and we all piled in with hilarious one-liners and stupid remarks. But Wesley was online responding to the meanest comments, saying,
“It’s not a joke, Dickhead,”
An hour later he’d uploaded a whole stack of photos of them kissing, hugging, getting close and looking fucking happy it has to be said. The pictures had obviously been taken over a long period of time, different hair, different locations. Irrefutable proof, but it still seemed ridiculous and no-one wanted to believe it, so we kept on taking the piss.
Finally Warren chipped in,
“We’re boyfriends, deal with it.”
Some of the lads got nasty, leaving vile comments and just being plain abusive. Coming-out would have been bad enough, but the whole twin thing sent the haters over the edge.
Soon nice girls were getting involved, commenting,
“Love is love,” and things like that, telling the boys to back off.
I didn’t know what to think! I saw Warren outside the Iceland shop were he works, toking a cheeky blunt on his break, and had to ask,
“It’s just a big joke tho, right?” I dared to mumble, scratching my head.
“No mate, it’s real,” he heaved peevishly, looking fit in his work polo, and I knew it was true.
“Fair play mate, love is love right?” I smiled nervously, repeating that phrase the girls used, and I hopped back on my bike.
Then I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I thought it was dead wrong and they shouldn’t be doing it, but it also gave me an uncomfortable boner. I’m not even gay, I’ve been dating Bryony for two and half years, but the thought of the Harding Boys getting dirty like that was kind of messing with my mind.
I’d check every Instagram story Wesley posted. He was getting really vocal and belligerent about dating Warren, making aggressive slogans and memes,
“Gay incest is lit.”
It was political.
I was already following Wesley’s TikTok, we all were. The twins used to make funny vids, just larking about, but now it was a platform for him to fight his corner. A bunch of announcements followed, declaring that this was now a Gay Incest Pride TikTok,
“We’re twin brothers, we fuck, we’re in love, and we want the world to know about it. I’m building a n online community around gay incest. Hit me up with your questions and comments, this is a safe space for your gay incest truth. Lets take it to the streets Lads!”
If he lost a few subs at first, it didn’t matter. A dozen, then a hundred, later a thousand all came for the incest content. So many Lads looking to get involved! Who knew there was so much of it going on behind closed doors? Wesley was fast becoming a hero to every anxious little cake-boy with a crush on his own Brother or his Dad.
Between the haters and trolls, Wesley got tons of questions in the comments. He started reading them out and responding on video,
“What do your parents think about you and your brother? My Big Brother’s got a girlfriend, but he lets me suck his dick sometimes. I think I’m in love with him, wish I was his boyfriend, but I know he’d beat the crap out of me if I told him.”
And like a professional Agony Aunt, he’d respond with something inspiring,
“Worrying what your parents think is the biggest obstacle to living taşova escort your best life. Every gay boy knows the fear of coming out, but the thought of coming out Gay Incest is enough to silence anyone.
“Imagine if it was no big deal. How is it any different from any other gay relationship? But we’re taught from childhood that it’s evil and wrong, and your Bro has to cover for it with a phoney girlfriend.
“I swear all boys everywhere would prefer gay incest if they could get it. No jokes.
“Seriously tho, I’m in a luckier position than most. My parents aren’t even in the country. They live back home in South Africa, and I haven’t told them about it yet. I guess they could find out anytime now that I’m all over the internet, but what are they gonna do?
“Basically, all the gay incest lads watching this, you have my full support. I know how hard this is, but we must fight. That’s why I’m doing this. I know I’m in a lucky place, so I’m using this platform to blaze a trail.
“Imagine 25 years from now and gay incest is perfectly normal? You could kiss your Uncle in the street, or hold hands with your brother in the supermarket. You wouldn’t lose your family or friends. You wouldn’t lose your job. That’s the dream. Believe. Peace. Over and out.”
Listening to this stuff everyday got me questioning myself. I’ve got a cousin, Graham… he’s a good-looking fella, but did I really fancy him? Would I ever really suck his dick? I’d have a shameful wank about it in the shower each morning where Bryony couldn’t see.
Wesley responded to more questions in his comments,
“Hey Wesley, found your TikTok last week. I’ve been searching gay incest since I found out my boyfriend fancies his Dad. I thought it was really sexy at first. He confessed that one time he got to suck his Dad’s dick! They were kissing and everything. Said it was the hottest thing he ever did.
“His Dad is a boxing coach, in great shape and that. He was always making little gay jokes and winks at my boyfriend, but I thought he was just messing around. Now I know they had this time together, I keep thinking he wants to do it again. His Dad spanked him last time we saw him, right in front of me. I’m getting crazy jealous.”
Wesley pulled no punches,
“You should step aside. They both clearly want it, and you’re standing in the way. Be the bigger Man and tell your boyfriend he’s been using you as a defensive barrier to what he really wants. Tell him – fuck polite society, his heart’s desire is there for the taking.
“I know it’s gonna hurt letting him go, but they’re the lucky ones. Life’s like that. If you want him to be happy, let him go.”
Was Wesley right? Were they the lucky ones? If my Dad was a sexy gym coach, would I be a thirsty son? I swear the Harding boys were turning me a bit gay. I never had thoughts like these before.
Soon Wesley’s ‘Gay Incest’ hashtag was trending alongside photos of brothers and cousins across the web. He reposted them all in his Instagram stories, demonstrating with sheer numbers the strength of the movement, and inspiring others to join the cause. He gave them courage to defy the world.
Other times he would post incest news stories,
“Amazing news from the University of California, link below. A huge study was completed on sexual attraction and body odour, with special focus on incest attraction. The article goes into greater detail than I could ever do, but safe to say it proves everything I’ve always been saying.
“The test which included thousands of subjects from across the social spectrum was put to both Men and women, and involved a blind odour sample of random males and family related males.
“Right off the bat, women were shown to almost entirely dislike bodily odours of family related males. Only between 1 and 2 percent of women recorded any positive response to the smells of their Fathers or Brothers. Poor show, but perfectly understandable when considering the obvious genetic disadvantage to heterosexual incest attraction. Nothing unexpected, all very normcore.
“But this is where it gets good. A staggering 72 percent of Men (including those who identified as straight) were recorded as finding the body odour of family related males to be pleasant or attractive. And of those, 80 percent preferred the odour of family related males to that of random males.
“WTAF! Come on lads! Get in!
“Brother odour was generally preferred over Father odour, but only by a small margin.
“The authors of the study conclude that, in contrast to heterosexual incest, gay male incest offers tavşanlı escort the evolutionary advantages of bond-building and instantiating tribal loyalties.
“Whoever the absolute total fucking G that set this study in motion, I salute you! Just like I always said, Lads everywhere should be fucking in the family. They all secretly want it, smash the status quo. Join the fucking movement!”
By now I was going through my cousin Graham’s photos on Facebook, looking for selfies he’d taken in the gym, or holiday snaps where he was shirtless on the beach. I had a crush on him. He suddenly seemed sexy and fit in a way I hadn’t noticed before. And I felt ashamed because I didn’t fancy my girlfriend Bryony anymore.
A couple of years had passed since Graham and I last met. He was living up in Leeds now with his girlfriend Laura. I felt like such a creep perving over his photos. But clearly I wasn’t the only one drooling over the fit lads in his own family. Six months in, and Wesley had a hundred and fifty-thousand followers.
When he announced an OnlyFans, I payed up immediately. They both lost their day jobs because of the negative attention they were attracting. So unfair. But I’d be lying if I said this was the reason I entered my card details. I wanted to see their dicks. I wanted to watch them going at each other so badly. And I wasn’t disappointed. But I wasn’t ready for just how explicit they were going to be.
The best vid has Warren laying back on the grass (in a park maybe?) pissing all over his belly, and Wesley’s licking it up, drinking down his brother’s piss. Never seen anything like it, and I couldn’t stop watching. honestly they don’t give a fuck. Wish I could be that confident and self-assured. Legends.
Soon they had merch on sale. These awesome football shirts with yellow and claret stripes. They decided these should be the colours of the gay incest pride flag. You could get one with ‘Wesley’ in capitals on the back or ‘Warren’. Took me ages to choose which one I wanted more. In the end I bought a Wesley shirt. Mostly because I thought if I could be either of the identical twins, I wanted to be the one drinking the piss on that sunny day in the OnlyFans video.
By now the whole phenomenon had snowballed. Vids were going viral, and suddenly all these American commentators like Tom Chapiro and Jacob Petersen were weighing in, saying it was a Neo-Marxist attack on Western Civilisation and a social contagion. I mean, it doesn’t get any bigger than a shout-out from celebrities like that. The Harding brothers were on a world stage, and it was only a matter of time before they went on TV. Channel 4 News got there first.
I donned my Wesley shirt to watch the night it aired, like watching a match – cheering my team.
“This ridiculous moral panic is the real social contagion,” Wesley bossed, “Gay incest is perfectly safe, and actually pretty cool.”
The newsreader grabbed chunks of her hair as she struggled to get her head around the new craze. Wesley’s respondent was fashionable Men’s rights advocate Adrian Tait,
“You’re encouraging young men to indulge in sexual perversions when they should be starting families.”
“That’s just homophobia.”
“This is where the whole alphabet agenda has been leading all along,” Tait opined, “Until yesterday, we all knew that incest was wrong, but suddenly you’re a bigot if you express this view – A view which almost everyone shares by the way.”
Wesley was having none of it,
“Look, I get the antipathy where heterosexual union is concerned,” he reasoned, “The complications associated with inbreeding are well known. But there are no disadvantages to gay male union. Why not cousin on cousin? Or brother on brother? Why not Father and son?”
“Because it’s just plain wrong!” Tait exploded.
“You haven’t given me single reason why, tho. Just saying something’s wrong isn’t an argument, Adrian.”
“Yes, Wesley!” I blurted at the telly, “Go on, son!”
“Wait, are you agreeing with him?” Bryony piped up, her eyes staring daggers my way, “He’s talking about fucking his brother, Charlie!”
“He’s an old mate of mine from school, babe! I’m just sticking up for him…” I froze.
“He’s sick in the head! He said Fathers and sons – fucking each other! It’s sick!”
Yeah it’s sick, I thought. Sick like totally fucking awesome! But somehow I wanted to claw back Bryony’s good graces, and made a ream of lame excuses.
Adrian Tait was doing an equally poor job of defending his corner on the news show. Resorting to Bible quotation, it was clear he’d tekirdağ escort lost the debate and that young men up and down the country had been persuaded of Wesley’s viewpoint.
“Love is love, babe,” I suggested pathetically,
Bryony lost her rag.
“Is that what this fucking shirt’s about?” she screamed, “You’re wearing the same shirt as him! Are you a fucking poofter?”
Snatching my phone off the armrest, she stormed off with it. I tried to stop her, but she’d already shut herself in the bathroom. My photos were packed with screen-grabs of Wesley’s Insta and OF. Moments later she found them.
Throwing my phone back out the door, she cracked the screen. I tried to get a word in edgeways, but the screaming didn’t stop until she put her jacket on and left the house.
I paced the flat wondering what would happen to me. Bryony would dump me and tell everyone I was a poofter and a pervert.
“It’s not gay if it’s family,” I told myself, only half believing it.
Painfully ashamed and eaten up with nerves, I scrolled through my Instagram. Wesley had done a huge post thanking everyone for the support after his TV spot.
“Just wanted to say a huge thanks for the overwhelming support following my Channel 4 News appearance. They did their best to make me out like some kind of weirdo, but the facts are on our side. So proud to represent you all, this community is truly awesome! Trust me, in the next five years gay incest will be everywhere, nothing they can do to stop it! Hate to the haters, love to the lovers – but most of all, love to my own twin brother Warren who’s dick smells so fucking great!! I’m so in love with you bro, peace out.”
That’s when I saw it – “liked by @graham_bensley” under the post.
That’s my cousin Graham! He was following Wesley’s Instagram! And liking his posts! My heart was racing.
All the vague feelings of curiosity I’d been toying with – the secret little wank fantasies – they suddenly blew up in the front of my mind as a real possibility. Could I actually ask my own cousin on a date? Kiss him? Fuck him?
I wanted to reach out, but had no idea what to say. Giving up on words, I simply took a cheeky selfie wearing the football shirt and dropped it in his DMs.
Seen. Little check mark, but no reply.
I returned to my messages every thirty seconds, seeing no change until I didn’t even want a response anymore. Overcome with shame I tossed my phone aside. Graham probably thought I was a pervert, and he’d be right. I’d been obsessing over gay incest content for a solid year, and it had rotted my brain – stripped me of any decency or good judgement. I had a lot of soul searching to do.
My phone finally buzzed with notifications. It was Graham. I couldn’t look. Nearly ten more minutes passed before I found the courage to read it,
“Looking so sexy cuz,”
I couldn’t believe it. The text was quickly followed by a selfie of his own – glancing back over his shoulder with a smouldering lust and wearing a ‘Warren’ shirt.
“Fuck yeah!” I hammered my reply, “Can’t believe you’re on side, boy!”
“Team Incest all the way blud, totally sucked Neil off the other day.”
Can’t deny this comment stung. Neil is my other cousin, his older brother. He was a good looking Lad, but it was Graeme that I wanted. I told myself not to be jealous,
“Hot AF,” I typed, doubting that Graham would want me if we was banging his bro. I felt scared to make an overt pass.
“Mate I’m getting so hard chatting with you,” he volunteered, spurring me to go for it.
“I want to suck you off so fucking bad,” I confessed, adding a cry-with-laughter emoji.
Then he dropped an awesome dick pic, his long bofty glittering in the flash light,
“Ready and waiting,” he teased.
“Fuck that looks so good”
“Aching for a family fuck, boy. Me and Neil both tops…”
That got me so excited. If the Bensley Boys were both tops, I was in with a better chance of making Graham my boyfriend. I took the bait he was dangling,
“Please fuck me Graham.”
Never knew I was so thirsty! My whole world just turned upside down. I was in love with my own cousin, I could admit it now. His lordly dick was everything I wanted.
“Snapchat tonight?” he suggested with an emoji wink.
I swear I’ve never been so hard.
*
Now I’m sat on the train, heading up to Leeds to spend a long weekend with my cousin Graham. What the fuck are we doing? Will it just be mad hookup, or will we want more? Will I be putting #TeamIncest on my Instagram posts? Getting my photos shared in Wesley’s stories? Posting holiday snaps of me and Graham kissing on the beach? I fucking hope so.
Fuck, feels like the world’s gone mad! Like some kind of revolution is kicking off – a sexy gay incest revolution, and I’m fucking here for it! Like Wesley said, let’s take it to the streets Lads! Literally nothing can stop us!
*
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